Funny Farm
by la.bella.vita13
Summary: When in charge of the class where you have Youichi being adorable, Hayate being Hayate, Rui being cool, Natsume napping, Hajime indifferent and Nobara randomly PMSing, all Persona can do is admit that even he's going a little insane.


**Funny Farm**

_When in charge of the class where you have Youichi being adorable, Hayate being Hayate, Rui being cool, Natsume napping, Hajime indifferent and Nobara randomly PMSing, all Persona can do is admit that even he's going a little insane. _

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Disclaimed. <strong>

To you, **Maria**, in hopes that Alex will stop being a total beyotch and come visit you again.

Also to **Corvus Corone** for her Those Dangerous Abilities story, which totally made me realize that the DA class couldn't be complete without Persona.

Sorta crack, but I guess that's the way things go in my mind. :P

© La Bella Vita 13

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><p><em>It all started when I was born. <em>

Your supposed therapy sessions really should start like that. Because truthfully- and from the bottom of the black organ previously named your heart, you swear this- it really did start from the beginning when you were born. Ever since you were a child, nobody wished for you. Not even your parents, who were supposed to be genetically programmed to love you.

What really drove you to the core was your job. Despite everything you had gone through, you couldn't pick an _easy_ job, like sitting behind a desk and photocopying random shit for people. You didn't pick a more _suitable_ job, such as being a personal assassin or something of that effect. _No._ You just _had_ to become a teacher. Even without having a damn license. _Somehow_, it was legal. Teaching shit that students obviously can't absorb was _somehow_ a job.

And for prepubescent kids and teens with raging hormones, no less.

Dangerous Abilities Class. What kind of a name was that? _Dangerous?_ Dangerous, your ass. All they really did around there wasn't killing people or torturing them, as they were reputed. Rather, they were quite quiet in class.

Wait. No. That was a _lie_; a bad one at that. Whatever they were, they were _far_ from quiet. All you knew was that they annoy the crap out of you every single time you walk into the room.

Start with the little one. _Youichi Hijiri._

A good kid, if you didn't count all of the terrible antics he gets dragged into by his seniors. He's only a _toddler_, after all, and believes that anything the older people say is the law.

"Persona!" You recall him tugging on the bottom of your shirt that one class, "Can't Natsume-nii and the idiot just pop another brother for me?"

You don't know what to do. When you signed up for the job, you never thought you were going to teach puberty and sex to all of those who ask for it. So you walked to the only part of the road that was available: _lies_.

"That's because getting a brother means that you have to have an IQ of above 10. Sakura doesn't qualify." You recall him nodding understandably, with that gleam in his eye that reminded you of your lost childhood.

And then, in the class, there was always the _difficult_ one. Hayate Matsudaira.

Not that he was _unpleasant_ or anything, but just his presence made your fingers itch to strike his face. You couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason why you wanted so badly to hurt him.

Or maybe, you knew all along why you wished him dead.

It was because he spoke of love and hate as if it were so black and white, as if good and evil lived on opposite sides of the spectrum. In your life, you never experienced someone whom you had loved completely, or _hated _completely, for that matter. You'd never met anyone whose perfect justice wasn't tainted or corrupted by evil in some way.

But for some reason, he did. And he never let anyone forget it.

"Cool Blue Sky is pure love!" He would exclaim in happiness. It made you want to gag yourself every time. "I am in absolute and sheer love for her; I can't even speak."

"Then _don't_." You'd tell him, angrily, and he would continue on even more so because he was told not to.

_Stupid kid._ Yet, with the small portion of your mind, you wished that you could believe what he said about true love, and true justice. Because in that small fragment of your imagination, you wished your childhood to be replenished, for you to be truly loved.

Rui Amane.

He was a good kid, for the most part, but something told you in the back of your mind that he was slightly _off._ Such as, for example, being… not like the other _boys_.

"Don't you think that Tsubasa is such a gorgeous super hunk?" He would gossip to you.

Time and again, you had to remind him, "I'm not gay. I wouldn't know." And time and again he would respond to you with a little wink, "Alright, I'll keep your little secret. But if you want to keep it a _secret_ for long, get rid of the makeup."

And you would feel one of your five fingers raise in front of him in absolute fury. He'd pretend to be hurt, and yada yada yada. That was just a regular day of work for you.

Then there was Natsume Hyuuga.

Safe, cunning and a smart ass, Natsume Hyuuga was your worst enemy when it came to following orders. Yet, perhaps you never really went along because of your similarities.

After all, likes repel, do they not?

You liked to believe that, and saw a resurrection of your innocence in him. For one reason or another, you felt it to be an obligation to corrupt it.

You never liked to admit how strong he really was, to stand up to you, fall in love and manage to come to class to sleep under a random RPG manga. It was degrading to see how extremely weak you were back when you were young compared to Hyuuga; your attention was easily drawn by a man who spoke of dreams. He, on the other hand, remained untouched.

You liked it that way, really. Deep down inside, you wanted him to become the good guy you were deprived of the chance to.

Hajime Yakumo.

You never really had a problem with Hajime Yakumo.

He was always the type to sit at the back of the room and just observe the rest of the morons as they did their usual antics. He was your favorite student for that, as he was the easiest to 'teach'.

And then, last but _never least_ on the scale of most annoying persons of the century, Nobara Ibaragi.

She was a sweet girl; the only one to ever understand you and your standpoint. While everyone screamed and ran from you, she trusted and believed in you. You liked her most of the rest of them, for she seemed to be the only one left in the world who genuinely cared about you.

But she _did_ have her moments.

A sweet girl like that could never, _ever_, be so terrible. Unless she has serious premenstrual syndrome.

And she did. She would go screaming all over the place, talking of how she felt betrayed by every person in the room, pointing fingers and giving names. Just by saying hello, you would be putting yourself in huge danger of a colossal breakdown.

"Oh, you decided to take Diet Coke today?" was the mistake that Amane made one fateful day. Never had you seen such a massive blowout, with shouts about how he was alluding that she was overweight, and that she _had _to take the Diet Coke.

On days like those, you decide to exchange minimal words with her, and try your best to keep her happy. _Or else._

You didn't know whether it was your decision to take over these kids, but for some crazy, messed-up reason, you got _used_ to them. And slowly, (although you hate to admit it yourself) you kind of _liked_ spending time with them.

Shit.

_It all started when you were born. _

And it didn't seem like it was going to end anytime soon.

But ah, _screw_ _it_.

This was your funny farm, your therapy session. Somehow, around them, you didn't feel as insane as you really were; around them, you _weren't_ the freak show host with more makeup than Cher, rather, you were the freak show with makeup, less than or equal to that of Cher's.

You stared at them once again, stopping a smile from reaching your face as your subconscious drifted off. An image presented itself in your mind, so elaborate, infuriating yet heart-warming at the same time; it baffled your emotions.

_Youichi, the baby._

_The young sister full of randomness, Matsudaira._

_Amane, the middle child that never really got any attention._

_The eldest child who thinks he's the bomb, Hyuuga._

_The really bad father who doesn't give a damn, Yakumo._

_The mother going through menopause, Ibaragi._

Somehow, this mad farm full of zealous animals, felt reminiscent of something called love.

_And Rei, finally a participant of a family._

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><p>So, like, I keep updating with random stories, right? But I SWEAR to answer all of your reviews from my other stories and this one, because I love to make new friends. So even if you hated this story, just drop me a line if you want to get to know me. :P<p>

'Cause I certainly wanna get to know you. XD A little creepy, but still.


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